Tales of Minecraft
by BigBossofMoss
Summary: Mayhem and hilarity ensue when the cast of ToS play the most popular indie game of all time.
1. Noobish Lloyd

**Me: Alright, I've decided on what I want to do with this. This will be a skit story with our favorite heroes and villains playing Minecraft. What's going to happen? Only time will tell. **

Chapter 1

Noobish Lloyd

Lloyd and Genis suddenly _pop_ into existence. Each of them looks around at the blocky world of Minecraft in awe. Ahead of them are vast mountains with hundreds of trees between the two of them and the mountains. To the left of them, Lloyd and Genis can see large plains in the distance with cows and chickens walking about, minding their own business.

The excitement of being in this sandbox world brings a smile to Lloyd's face. He turns to Genis. "Oh man, this is going to be so cool!" Lloyd sets his sights on the closest mountain ahead of them. "Come on, Genis. Let's go explore that mountain."

Genis sighs to himself. "We can't, Lloyd. This game isn't kind to players who go exploring unprepared." Genis closes his eyes as he recalls what Martel said when first starting out. "We should go collect some wood, build a temporary shelter for the night and then—"

Genis stops talking when he opens his eyes. Lloyd is nowhere to be found and from the distance, Genis sees a speck of red going through the forest biome to get to the nearby mountain.

The half elf rolls his eyes. "Idiot."

* * *

><p>Night falls quickly. During the daylight hours, Genis had collected plenty of wood from the nearby trees around him and dug into a nearby hill for the night and sealed the entrance with dirt. A single torch is Genis source of light for the time being.<p>

_Lloyd was slain by a Zombie_

Genis laughs when he sees the message. "You're such a noob, Lloyd.

**Me: This will be updated at least once a week. A short skit story like this will help me get back into fanfiction after my long absence. And yes, I will use any Tales of Symphonia character in this skit story and maybe some...other characters. What other characters you say? Find out next time! :D**


	2. Monster Hunter

**Me: I feel like Colette after her soul comes back to her. "It's good to be back." **

Chapter 2

Monster Hunter

Raine sits down in a vast field, her mind on auto pilot while Colette walks around the plain they are on. Raine looks around at her surroundings as the square shaped sun shines bright upon her and Colette. Colette glances over to her teacher. "Professor Sage, what are you looking for?"

Raine twitches as Colette's sudden question startles the half elf a bit. She had been in deep concentration. Raine turns to Colette. "I'm trying to locate some of the fauna here. However, unlike our world, I have not been able to locate a single monster."

Colette nods, taking in the information. She puts her index finger to her chin, thinking. "Well…we know there are zombies in this world. Remember seeing that flashing text saying that one killed Lloyd?"

Raine couldn't help but grin. "Yes, that was what initially perked my curiosity." Raine gets up to her feet. "I'll be back soon, Colette. I'm going to try to look for some of the monsters around here."

Colette's eyes flash in worry. "But Professor! You don't have a weapon either. You might be killed like Lloyd.

Raine rolls her eyes. "Relax, Colette. It's only a game. And I'll just be observing the monsters from afar."

Though Raine gives Colette reassurance, Colette couldn't help but worry. "…Okay."

* * *

><p>The square sun has long since fallen and has been replaced by a smaller square moon in the sky. After spending a lot of time trekking across the plains where she and Colette spawned onto originally, Raine finally spots hostile mobs.<p>

Raine does her best to observe the monsters she sees in the distance. Raine curses in frustration, wishing she had some sort of book and writing instrument to document the monsters in this game. "That green colored man in the blue pants must be a zombie, judging by its rotting skin and deep moans."

Raine squints her eyes. Beyond the wandering zombie, there is a white figure holding what appears to be a bow. Raine gives the white figure in the distance a look of indifference as she mutters to herself. "That appears to be a skeleton." Raine sighs to herself. "So far, the monsters in this world are pretty generic. I was hoping to find something more…original in this world."

_Sssssizzle!_

Raine instantly turns around. "Wha—"

_Raine blew up._

* * *

><p>Raine <em>pops<em> back into existence right near Colette.

Colette looks to Raine, startled. "Professor! Are you okay? It just said you blew up."

Raine brushes off black soot off her clothes. "I'm fine, Colette. But…"

Colette takes a step back as Raine's eyes flash. "But that green creature that killed me was so unique! A monster that explodes in order to attack? I…I have to document this somehow! That creature is so interesting!

Colette glances away from her teacher. "That monster just sounds creepy to me…"


	3. 水封

**Me: I made a Lloyd Minecraft skin. Check out a pic of it on my profile.**

Chapter 3

Water Seal

水封

Sweat drips from Sheena's forehead. The ninja grips the wooden sword she had just crafted and takes a deep breath. "Okay…this shouldn't be too hard." Sheena picks up the blade, holding it steady. She attempts to perform a horizontal slice only for her to lose her footing and mess up completely. Sheena follows it up with another clumsy vertical slice. "Grr! Stupid sword!" She throws her sword at the ground in frustration.

"Having trouble, my voluptuous hunny?"

Sheena's fingers scrunch up as her frustration deepens. She turns around to face the red-headed Chosen. "You better not be spying on me!"

Zelos smiles as anger pervades the ninja's face. "You're not used to fighting with a sword, are you?"

Sheena takes a deep breath before turning away from him. "…No. It's hard fighting with weapons you're not trained to use."

Zelos goes to pick up the discarded wooden sword. "I wouldn't really know." He scoots behind Sheena and whispers in her ear. "I wouldn't mind giving you some…one on one sword practice, if you know what I mean~"

_Zelos was slapped too hard!_

A dark smirk comes over Sheena's face as she collects what little items Zelos had on him before she killed him. As soon as Sheena recovers the last of Zelos' items, Martel appears before her.

Upon seeing the Tree Spirit, Sheena's nerves get the better of her. "Oh…hello, Martel. I-I was just…um…returning Zelos' things."

Martel raises her eyebrows and stares at the ninja. "Nice try, Sheena. You know the rules. You can't kill other players on my server."

Sheena looks down at her feet.

"However…since Zelos was…invading your personal space, I'll let it slide this time."

Sheena grins. "Thank you, Martel."

Martel smiles back at her. "You're welcome. Oh, and also, I've installed ToS Seal. It's a mod I created with you in mind, Sheena."

Sheena tilts her head, confused. "What is it?"

Martel closes her eyes. "Simply craft paper and Lapis Lazuli together. Here, take ten of each item." Martel throws to Sheena the crafting ingredients before teleporting out of sight.

Sheena blinks for a moment before turning back towards her crafting table. Upon placing both items in crafting area, astonishment comes over the ninja's face. "What? No way!"

Sheena picks up from her crafting area, ten water seal cards. Sheena relishes the feeling of the spell cards in her hands and sighs in relief. "This feels so much better than a sword or a bow."


	4. The Life of a Protozoan

**Me: Here's a more peaceful skit. Enjoy. **

Chapter 4

The Life of a Protozoan

Noishe _pops_ into a forest. The green and white colored protozoan looks around at his surroundings. Noishe whines when he finds he is alone in this new world. He looks down at his front paws before walking off in a random direction to explore more of the forest.

Noishe comes across a small pond with little fish occasionally swimming close to the surface. Noishe tilts his head to the side, watching the fish. He then lies down on his belly, his nose just above the surface of the pond. The protozoan closes his eyes, enjoying the ticklish feeling when the small fish swim past his snout.

As Noishe lies near the edge of the pond, an unknown figure hides in the shadows of trees. The figure stands rooted to the ground, simply watching the strange green and white creature from afar.

Minutes pass by before the unknown figure decides to walk towards the protozoan.

Noishe's ears twitch upon hearing the sudden movement behind him. In a flash, he gets up and turns around. Before him stands a wolf.

The wolf walks up to Noishe. She sniffs and takes in Noishe's scent as she slowly circles around Noishe. Noishe stands completely still, staring at the white and gray female wolf before him.

When the wolf comes full circle, the creature tilts her head slightly, "Hmm…" Her whine is higher pitched when she regards the larger looking canine.

At the sound of the wolf's whine, Noishe motions his head for the wolf to follow him. He lies down on his belly again. This time, the female wolf lies down next to him. She nuzzles at Noishe's front legs before falling into a peaceful sleep.

Noishe looks down at her peaceful face before licking it affectionately.

**Me: Hope you guys liked it. :)**


	5. Culinary Arts

Chapter 6

Culinary Arts

Presea walks into the partially built wooden cottage, her ax in hand. She wipes the sweat from her forehead before she glances around. "Regal, I have what you requested."

Regal turns away from the back wall he's working on and his eyes light up in excitement as Presea pulls out raw beef. "Excellent. Please, place it inside the furnace."

Presea nods and does what Regal requested. She places a piece of raw beef into the furnace and watches as it instantly turns on, cooking the food.

Regal closes his eyes. "I've been waiting for this ever since I started playing. I'm really curious what kinds of dishes can be made. Simple lunch sandwiches to pork loin dinners served with mash potatoes and gravy, there's no limit to what I can cook here."

"Regal, it's ready."

Regal turns towards Presea, confused. "What's ready?"

The pink hair girl points to the furnace. "The food is done cooking." Presea goes to the furnace and pulls cooked steak out. She stares at the piece of meat in her hand. "Not only is cooking instantaneous in this game, but the food isn't even hot anymore." Presea throws the cooked steak to Regal.

Regal stares at the cooked steak in his hands, a feeling of disappointment coming over him.

Presea tilts her head at the hand-cuffed man. "Would you like me to cook the rest of the meat? You really should finish the house before the day is over."

Regal blinks and stops staring at the steak in his hands. "…Uh, yes. Please do."

**Me: This would be a living hell for me because I really do love cooking. Please review. **


	6. Causal Indifference

**Me: Alright, today's skit is special. It's special because I didn't even write it. happy ametuer wrote it. When I first proposed a skit based ToS fic centered around Minecraft, she became very intrigued with the idea. So much so, that she wanted to write a skit for it. So enjoy her first ToS/Minecraft brain child. :)**

Chapter 5

Casual Indifference

Genis harvests wood with his newly-made stone ax as Lloyd looks for nearby tall grass so they could farm for wheat. Suddenly, Lloyd runs right by him. "Genis! Creepers!"

Genis looks and then runs after Lloyd. "Oh goddess! There's three of them!"

They run through the forests and still the creepers chase after them. Eventually, they come upon a little cottage with a tall fence bordering around it. When they make it to the fence gate, they find baked stone blocking the inside of the fence.

Genis exclaims, "Why's the fence blocked?"

"They've got to be in there unless there's a back door!"

"Look for another way in!" The two split up to search for any sign of another entrance.

Meanwhile, in the cottage's large, cozy basement, Zelos and a server guest Sheik sit at a table eating mushroom stew. Sheik looks up towards the screaming and asks, "Aren't you going to let them in?"

"And let the creepers behind the fence?" Zelos says as he finishes his stew and moves on to his bucket of milk.

Sheik snorts. "Better than dealing with Redead mods."

"No offense, but your server host Din has a sick sense of humor."

Up at the surface, the screaming continues.

"It's no use! There isn't another way in!"

"Start digging, then!"

Then Zelos asks, "By the way, I wanted to ask this for a while. Are you a boy or a girl?"

"Am I likely to let you in my pants?"

"If I were honest with myself, no."

"Then that's the likelihood of having an answer that question."

"AHHHH! THEY'RE HERE!"

"KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT—"

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSS—"

A thunderous explosion goes off.

Zelos gets up from the table. "Well, time to fix my fence. Mind if I visit your server sometime?"

Sheik replies, ". . . I'll think about it."

***Edit***

**Me: Please review, here. I spoke with happy ametuer and we decided that it's better if you guys just review here instead of PMing her. **

**Also, if anyone wants to write "guest skits" for this fic, PM me or review telling so. I will have to look it over first and give it my BigBossofMoss stamp of approval first before posting it.  
><strong>


	7. Chicken or the Snake?

**Me: Sorry for not posting anything this week. I had some midterms to study for and I just turned 22. I'm now probably the oldest male writer in the ToS section. **

Chapter 7

Chicken or the Snake?

Naked Snake hugs the ground and crawls. His green camouflage provides superb cover for the FOX operative in the huge, jungle biome.

_Rustle! Rustle! _

"Huh!" Snake turns to his left to see tall grass shake. He slowly pulls out his knife, silently thanking Martel for installing the Snake Eater mod. The mod had allowed him to bring basic gear he was familiar with during the Virtuous mission and Operation Snake Eater.

He readies himself as a flash of white jumps out of the tall grass.

_Cuckoo. _

Snake relaxes at the sight of a chicken and goes to sheath his knife. Snake turns on his radio and tunes it to a new frequency. "Professor Sage, I've encountered what looks like…a chicken. Like everything else here, it is completely blocky in shape."

"Ah, chickens. In Minecraft, chickens are a passive mob, meaning they won't attack you. They drop feathers and raw chicken once slain. If you capture one, however, they will be able to lay eggs which can be harvested as well."

Snake eyes the chicken, licking his lips. "So…how do they taste?"

Raine laughs softly and Snake can almost picture her smiling. "Chickens are delicious, Snake! Honestly, I can't imagine anyone not eating chicken at least once during their life."

Snake smirks. "The missions that I participate in require me to live off the land. Chickens are a delicacy compared to the animals I normally eat.

Raine groans in disgust. "Thanks…I'll keep that in mind."

Snake hears Raine tune out. He turns back towards the bush and stops. The chicken is nowhere to be found.

_Cuck! Cuckoo!_

Snake glances to his right to see the chicken standing up on a taller block. The chicken stares down at him before jumping off and landing on Snake's head.

Snake feels the chicken move its feet around as it makes itself comfortable in his unkempt hair. As soon as it's comfortable, the chicken lays its head down and falls asleep.

Snake grumbles and glances up at the bird sleeping on his head. "You're lucky you're not my target."

Snake goes back to crawling; his eyes open for the animal Colette had wanted him to find.

**Me: I got the idea for this skit after listening to Snake and Para-Medic talk about different animals in MGS3. Snake is always interested in how they taste and not about the significance of the animal itself. **


	8. It's Not a Lie!

**Me: *plays Star Wars: The Old Republic***

**Regal Bryant Lover: Hey, Big Boss. I have a chapter for ToM...uh, is this where you've been all this time.  
><strong>

**Me: ...Uh...pretty much. Anyway, yes. I'm still around. Graduated college and trying to find a job. In the mean time, RBL was kind enough to write a chapter about her favorite character. Mad props to her.  
><strong>

Chapter 8

It's Not a Lie!

Regal walks into the kitchen where RBL is lazily reading the cartoons in the newspaper.

"Thank you for lending me your laptop." The duke says as he returns the laptop.

"Oh, all done playing on Minecraft today?"

With a sigh Regal replies, "Yes, as hard as I tried I could not find a wolf or an ocelot."

"So you gave up on cooking?" RBL retorts smugly.

With a quick glare Regal takes the rest of the newspaper from her and retreats to the connecting living room.

"Oh don't be so sour about it." RBL says from behind her laptop. "I heard that they're planning to implement a cooking system. Just be patient and wait for the update."

"Hmph." Regal shakes the paper open.

RBL logs onto the server and begins exploring the area. "Hey, Raine got her house finished! I wonder what she's got inside."

Regal rolls his eyes from behind the paper, trying to ignore the president of his fan club.

"What the hell?" RBL exclaims. "Raine made a cake!"

"What?" Regal throws the paper to the side and stands across from Stacy.

"When did she get all the ingredients for a cake!"

"What's this about a cake?" Regal asks with great concern.

"Damn, this means her status in the game now outranks mine! Ah dang it! She could overthrow me from my position in the fan club!"

"About making this cake…" Regal tries to interject.

Jumping from her seat, RBL announces, "I must bake a cake myself before Raine can overthrow me! This operation will call for bottled soda, chips and energy drinks! To the Bat Cave!" RBL calls as she runs off with her laptop to her bedroom where she will ultimately spend the next three days hunting down the means to bake a cake.

Regal stood in the middle of the kitchen, leaning against the table with a look of utter defeat on his face. "I cannot believe I will have to ask Professor Sage for cooking instructions…"


End file.
